There are different kinds of fear. Rather, there are different excuses for fear. This is not to say that fear is not frightful. Living with fear is like being on the edge of a cliff, and you tremble. You have fear of fear — fear of what fear will throw at you next.
There are ego-based fears, like fear of what others may think of you, such as fear of losing your reputation, or fear of not living up to your reputation. Fear of being rejected is ego-based, as if you have to “win” in order to survive. Yes, you have fear of falling from grace.
All your fears are fear of loss. The seeming loss of a Loved One is as deep a fear as you can have. In some ways, loss of a Loved One is a deeper fear than the fear of loss of your own body which you see as loss of life. Never do you want someone you love to leave you by any means whatsoever.
It is no help to you to hear that the grief you feel will pass, for you are also attached to your suffering.
Attachment causes you to pay dearly. Come closer to discovering how to love without grabbing hold of it. If you did not insist on holding on tight, you would not be attached.
Better to be attached to life as it comes, not to a script that you desire above all. This way, your heart will not ache to the extent it does now. Now your heart bleeds with the thought alone of losing a Loved One. You have even pictured loss ahead of time. There is no end to your mourning before the fact. How can you possibly bear the loss of a Loved One? The thought alone is too much to bear.
Look, all of life is a passing fancy or fantasy. You do not have to keep in your hand that which cannot be made permanent no matter how hard you try. Permanence itself on Earth is a come-on. Permanence holds great appeal to you even as permanence is an idea or ideal that does not exist and never did on this plane.
When I say loss does not exist, you take what I say with a grain of salt. If you see life as about gain, how can you not experience a deep sense of loss when the illusion is wiped from your eyes? Sense of gain inevitably leads to pain. Instead of a balance, you may have been toppling yourself over.
Can you, an ordinary mortal, get over sense of loss, before the fact as well as after the fact? Don’t get stuck in loss. This applies to material possessions as well as your Loved Ones. It is not that you are to become impervious to loss but that you disentangle yourself from the sense of loss.
In the case of Loved Ones, hold their hands, yet keep your Loved Ones free. They are your Loved Ones, yet never Beings owned by you. They are by your side regardless.
That they leave for whatever reason, they leave because they live their lives and cannot stay longer. Whether it is right or wrong is not the issue. Your having to have is the issue. Love does not bind. Your Loved Ones are not your captives. They are free-flowing individuals who belong to themselves and to Me.
Yes, your Loved Ones are also My Loved Ones. When it is time for them to come Home, they come Home. If they live their lives and go off with someone else, this also is their choice even when their schedules do not coincide with yours.
The whole world may say that your Loved One wronged you. You don’t have to see your beloved as a betrayer or weak. The heart, the heart. You have no right to mandate another’s heart. Your opinions are too often short-sighted.
When you are attached, you resent someone’s leaving you as though you, by divine rule, must continue as the star of your Loved One’s Heart. You say your Loved One is not supposed to leave you. The whole world may say your beloved was weak and betrayed you. This is when the Truth is you have your own life to live and have no right to mandate anyone else’s life.
When a friend leaves, whatever the seeming cause, it is for you to give your blessings and wave goodbye.
Keep good will. Love with all your heart. Don’t kid yourself that you own.